June 2021 — Living through turmoil and making sunflowers out of chaos.
It has taken me awhile to get put down what June was like, and I think I have forgotten most of the details.
I could have refereed to my journal to give me a better idea but that won’t be possible because I lost all my data on my laptop. June came with its gift and struggles. I managed to get through it, but it was heavy for me.I was battling so much anxiety around my job and the health of my parents.
It was a lot and I cried so hard on most nights.
In hindsight, I am grateful that I was able to cry as much because it ended up relieving me of so much, I have bottled up.
I was also trying to learn to adjust to doing away with a relationship that couldn’t hold grounds anymore contrary to what I was expecting. It was a lot to deal with and all these adding up caused so much imbalance in psyche.
However, I had one thought in mind, “How do I make the next 6 months worthwhile for myself?”
To be honest this wasn’t an unfamiliar question. I have asked this question so many times in my bid to plan and stay on course for the future.
Two things came up focusing on three goals:
1. Speaking well
2. Writing well
3. Moderating conversations
But the underlying thing that will help me achieve all these is to learn to learn to take very good care of myself and do more of the things I love to fuel me in the right way.
In all June was not as bad and I looked forward to making something useful out of July and not keeping myself consistent in the systems I put in place to achieve my goals.
